I was out in the main area of the birth center for a little while exchanging glances with my husband & my midwife, trying to decide how close I was, and what we should do. Instead of being in a hospital monitored at all times & given commands of what to do or not do, I was on my own in a way. We were allowed to make every decision on our own, and I loved it but also didn’t always know what to do. I would find out that I really did know what to do, but I just had to listen to my body & do it instead of doubting. While in the main area, I would be having a contraction, breathing through it, telling my body to open up & relax, and then I’d hear Samuel talking or whining or making noise in the next room. He was a distraction. My body was being pulled in two different directions. I couldn’t concentrate on birthing this baby when I was hearing my other baby & wishing I could be with him. I had to go in another room & close the door. So we did.
We listened to the baby’s heartbeat at different times, I labored on the birthing ball, on the couch, and in the bathroom. The lady that was supposed to be the other birth assistant wasn’t going to be able to make it. Her husband was out of town, and she needed to be with her kids. Another lady – whom I had never met before – was on her way. Linda informed me that if I was uncomfortable with her in any way that she didn’t have to be in the room. When the assistant arrived, she was quiet, attending to the paperwork & whatever else assistants attend to. She didn’t get in the way & was nice so I was fine with the arrangement. She ended up helping with the breastfeeding reminders later on & I was glad she was there.
Chris & I were left alone & the door opened only a few times for the baby’s heartbeat to be checked, or for me to be checked on to see how things were going. At one point Jess came in to warm up some food for Sam (remember, I had forgotten his dinner. Alex, my SIL, had brought him some pasta), and I whispered to Chris that I needed her gone. I had to do this alone. Well, with Chris. But no one else at the moment. There was soft instrumental music playing in the background. It was very warm & inviting. I enjoyed it, felt peaceful, and was glad it was there.
I was wanting to get in the birth tub, but I didn’t want to be in there for hours so I was afraid to get in just to wait for what seemed like forever until I actually had my baby. But I was ready to get in. I really wanted some relief & was wishing for the warmth of the water. I went to the bathroom one last time & got in the tub. Chris changed into swim trunks & we got in the tub around 7 something. I wasn’t really paying attention to the time so as not to be too distracted. The contractions for this baby were not as they were for my first. With Samuel’s labor toward the end they got really close together – so close together that I seemed to have no break at all in between them. For Addison’s labor they were just consistent, and getting stronger, but a nice break in between each one. Don’t get me wrong, I did welcome that break, but I was worried that it was going to take so much longer to have her. When I got in the tub, another “disappointment” came. My contractions slowed down. Linda was quick to let me know that it is common for contractions to subside briefly after getting into the water. Good. It was normal. That helped. They picked back up quickly, and I was into the swing of things yet again. Contract, breathe, break. Contract, breathe, break. When I would relax & accept them instead of tensing up my body, they passed as a wave & I could feel things moving along. But I had to remind myself of this each time they came.